October 23, 2009

“Let’s face it. We’re undone by each other. And if we’re not, we’re missing something. If this seems so clearly the case with grief, it is only because it was already the case with desire. One does not always stay intact. It may be that one wants to, or does, but it may also be that despite one’s best efforts, one is undone, in the face of another, by the touch, by the scent, by the feel, by the prospect of the touch, by the memory of the feel. And so when we speak about my sexuality or my gender, as we do (and as we must), we mean something complicated by it. Neither of these is precisely a possession, but both are to be understood as modes of being dispossessed, ways of being for another, or, indeed, by virtue of another.”

Judith Butler, Undoing Gender

One Response to “Dispossession”

  1. Jana Says:

    She is good, Judith. I’m glad to see her here 🙂

    I hope you’re feeling better, darling. I’ve been reading my teenage diary – I s’ppose it’s end-of-year time – and it’s a funny, electric sort of read. So much grief, so much crap (not just teenagehood, but divorce, and first loves, and violence), so much sharp and barbed emotion, and amidst it all, me writing about every single beautiful thing and every happy instant, like a sort of counter-curse, white magic.

    What I mean to say, perhaps, is that one fuels the other. We have our bad years to learn how happy we can be of our own accord.

    I send lots of love from one very sad place, in which we equally grit our teeth and smile like the world is ending.

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